Muscles and Bones

Last night I started taking my muscle relaxers again.  My shoulders and lower back of my neck muscles have been really tight lately, making my neck pop every time I lean my chin down toward my chest.  It totally and completely grosses me out to feel it pop, with all the disgusting little cartilage noises and feelings, and freaks me out too, wondering if something is wrong with my fusion or if something could potentially go wrong with it.  

In the process of trying to feel those muscles there, I became aware that there is a place at the top of my fusion scar, right at the bottom of my neck, almost between my shoulder blades, where you can feel either the bones of my spine or the metal hardware through my skin, there's not enough muscle layer covering it up, and this so completely revolted me when I felt it that I almost became sick.  I don't know if the muscle will eventually build back up over it, or if it will keep building on each side as it seems to have been doing so far and still leave this little valley in the center where you can feel that alien, bony hardness under the skin.  

All I know is in those few seconds, I really wished this would all go away and I could just be normal again.  And then I reached for that bottle of muscle relaxers, hoping desperately that if I could just release those muscles enough, the eerie popping and grinding would stop.  I have a CT scan and consult with my neurosurgeon tomorrow, and I will definitely ask him about it then.