Nothing like a many-legged bug slowly circling you on your living room walls to remind you how disabled you are. Never mind that bugs like that gave you panic attacks even when you could run to a different room to hide or grab a wad of paper towels and smash it to death yourself. It's so much more terrifying when it crawls over the ceiling above your bed and you know there's nothing you can do about it. To have your daughters become increasingly frightened by it because you're frightened but the panic is too strong for you to keep them from seeing it. To have to call your husband to come back home from errands to save you from this terror because you can't take care of yourself.
When the panic fades, all you have left is shamed relief and tears.
And hugs, and kisses, and love, and snuggles, and love, and kisses, and love, and snuggles. Rinse and repeat forever.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I'd react the same way if I found a mouse in my house. We all have our phobias and fears. There is nothing shameful in being human and needing help from our loved ones. I love you! Take care.
ReplyDeleteDon't minimize panic attacks, Dale. And can't say enough about your dear husband...a rare gem, indeed! (See DaddyMan's comment) Sharon
ReplyDeleteoooh! I'm so sorry you had to go through such a fright! Know that there is NO shame in feeling what you feel. Being trapped with the little beast is the worst! It is good that Chris was able to come home and comfort all of his girls. He is one in a million. For me, the insect that causes me panic are wasps....any kind of wasps. Feel the relief and let the tears flow...but DON'T wear the mantle of shame!!! love you whole bunches!!!!! JKFN P.S. I'm sorry I wasn't on board last evening or today to catch this earlier.
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