Anticipation

It's hard to anticipate big, scary, important moments that don't....exist.  Like tomorrow, I have an appointment with my oncologist.  I'll have some blood labs done, and then talk to him.  But the way I understand it, we won't be able to make any serious decisions until the results of the labs become available, which may take several days.  So while we have weighty choices to consider, and I do intend to have him elaborate on them, we can't really choose anything tomorrow, so there's all this anticipation with no real payoff.  Of course, it's the first time I'll have seen him since the Big Disappointment, i.e. the MRI in April that showed no growth (yay!) in my tumors, but no shrinking either (boo!).  So I'll ask him for any observations he has about the images, and show him that I'm walking with my walker now, which he'll be pretty excited about, but at the end of the day, we'll still just be... waiting.

Good thing I'm coming off such an awesome weekend, then.  We had great success yesterday with our trip to the hair salon, got my shaggy 'do all lopped off, and covered the grocery store as well.  It's an exhausting process for my husband, who has to spend all kinds of extra effort and time loading and unloading my wheelchair and walker at every stop, and it ain't exactly a picnic for me to get in and out of the car over and over again either, but we both pulled through like troopers and the prize - shopping together, the five of us, instead of separate - was definitely worth it.  With practice, we'll get better and better at it.  As we say in the gaming world, we got this shit on farm.*

*meaning, we are capable of executing the strategy correctly in a repetitive, consistent fashion and obtaining the desired results.